here i am sitting on demetrios' couch while hes out fiddling with his bike. i was kind of hoping to spend time with him while we were here but apparently he had other plans. i also find myself annoyed with quite a few things today- i am very irritable.
i have been looking for another job. found a few that look like i could enjoy. i am just finding myself becoming very sick working third shift, and not being able to see demetri nearly as much as i had been hoping i would this summer. another thing is that i am taking day classes in the fall instead of night classes which would start at about 8 in the morning, i don't see myself staying up all night at work then making to school for 8 and being able to pay complete attention and actually learn something. so i would have to cut back my hours and i would be restricted to only working a few days a week. i wrote my supervisor about this and she has yet to get back to me and i fear she wouldn't even give me the hours i would want/need.
as the day demetrios leaves gets closer and closer i feel we are drifting farther and farther apart and fighting more. it's really devastating to think about actually. i just can't afford to lose him.
emotionally and physically i feel sick. like i need a new beginning, i think that may be a possible reason i've been looking for a new job, new apt, new anything really.