everytime i start having these doubts that this isn't all i thought it was he comes through and kicks them out of the water.
i woke up this morning a mess, drove to work fast and late. this week has been rough. i feel unattractive, annoying, and every other thing you don't want your girlfriend to be. the more i feel this way the more i become them.

i am very excited for school to start! with the exception that soon after school starts demetri leaves. in some ways this is a good thing; i can focus on school 100% and since i'll have nothing else to do i'll work. from what we've looked into he will be done basic right about as i am done first semester.
while intentionally turning my back on the people in my past i've accidentally lost one of the most important people in my present. working third shift has not been an easy task for me, during the school year it was rough but i still made time for my friends (megan) as often as i could. the rest of my friends (carson & skye) i saw quite often: when skye was home, and carson when ever really. now that i am distancing my self from my bolgna of a past it seems like my current friends are being lost as well. it's hard for me not to go off on my closest because when she was working 40 hours a week and seeing her boyfriend as often as she could and me not often enough i'll admit it sucked alot! but i just saw her when ever i could have it be popping into her salon or grabbing a bite after she got out. this was also when i was living in new hampshire. now i live in maine, work two full time jobs and have a boyfriend who lives with me and is leaving for two and a half months in the fall. i used to always have my phone and talk to my friends all day every day but now i hardly ever use my phone i dont have a sidekick so i only have texting. blahblah

anyways i'm working today till five. it's going to be a long ass day i can already tell. my back hurts, my arm hurts, my head, heart and feet hurt.