lights, birds, leaves and bees
10.08.2009 Thursday, October 08, 2009the fall rain, wind, sun, and everything else yesterday just made things a little bit better. i saw this flash of happiness come storming into my life unannounced. why am i settling? doesn't that seem like a waste? i've convinced my self over and over that i'm not settling, that i am damaged goods and this is where i fall. but i deserve happiness don't i? i don't deserve to make happy with someone who isn't happy with me. right?
the real of this hasn't set in yet. the fact is these words won't be set into action. i'm all 'type' and no action. i'm torn. i want to be happy with him but what if thats just not it. is that life? do i just give up and head out?
in the spring i said i wasn't going to do this to myself anymore. that i was going to be selfish and do me for once. well, the "best" of me is back. i am broke in the pocket and in the chest because of someone else. to me thats not right.
the real of this hasn't set in yet. the fact is these words won't be set into action. i'm all 'type' and no action. i'm torn. i want to be happy with him but what if thats just not it. is that life? do i just give up and head out?
in the spring i said i wasn't going to do this to myself anymore. that i was going to be selfish and do me for once. well, the "best" of me is back. i am broke in the pocket and in the chest because of someone else. to me thats not right.
rabble rabble.
"when you develop an infatuation for someone you always find a reason to believe that this is exactly the person for you. It doesn't need to be a good reason. Taking photographs of the night sky, for example. Now, in the long run, that's just the kind of dumb, irritating habit that would cause you to split up. But in the haze of infatuation, it's just what you've been searching for all these years."
she's lost it