yearning for girl friends and girl time is typical of any girl my age. however when you have hardly any friends, let alone ones of the female gender this girl time ceases to exist.
also this stress of stressing demetrios out about me being worried that he's going to be unfaithful (ya follow?).
well apparently me being so upset and anxious is stressing him out, which in turn makes me more stressed and bottle up all my anxiety which is what causes my anxiety attacks. i'm getting a migraine just thinking about what a cluster-fuck of a problem this is.
what this all boils down to i guess is that although my blogging and writing is an outlet besides demetrios for my feelings its not enough- even if i had my friends around i've been told its not okay to bitch to you friends about your problems. i am thinking about therapy, i just need to talk to someone i guess. instead of talking to my friends i'm going to go to an outsider who i can bitch about my problems with.
since i now know i am in this for the long haul and being an "army wife" is going to be the life i live i need to learn some better coping mechanisms besides staying in the house, cleaning, sleeping and worrying. HES JUST IN TRAINING- imagine what a wreck i will be when he gets deployed for a year or more. i can't and at this rate i wont survive that. i know there are support groups and all that bogus...bitch bitch wah wah- i need to grow the fuck up.



hobbies that are possibiltys :

• sewing more
• painting more
• pottery
• get a second job
• cooking/baking
• making jewelery
• volenteer work
• walking
• working out

i guess i have some options.