murder he's writing
4.04.2010 Sunday, April 04, 2010we've been on this roller coaster since day one, are we ever going to catch a break? i honestly thought the time apart and "ashleigh time" would do me good but in complete honesty i am struggling much more. the idea of losing you, the fact that i can't fulfill you're every need, the accessibility to the things you may want outside of us, these have all become immensely more apparent.
and now i continue the quest for a "genuine" life lacking in the hypocrisy my life has seemingly been so abundant in, yet i don't know where to start. i want and need to yell my mistakes from the tallest mountain peak but i can't even begin to form those words.
i guess what i want is us to live on the pages that were mailed 2000 miles back and forth between us. among the words of love and happiness.
"now,
i am thinking of the past
and how we both said vows
and lied
and i am wondering how we trust
ourselves to say a second time:
'to have and to hold,
from this day and onward,
for better and for worse,
for richer and for poorer,
in sickness or in health,
to love and to cherish
till death do us part?'"
i am thinking of the past
and how we both said vows
and lied
and i am wondering how we trust
ourselves to say a second time:
'to have and to hold,
from this day and onward,
for better and for worse,
for richer and for poorer,
in sickness or in health,
to love and to cherish
till death do us part?'"
she's lost it